A Wild Ride

I'm in a fog. It's caused by Prednisone. Yeah--I can breathe more easily and the coughing is just about gone, but I'm really wondering if it's worth it. I'm losing my mind.

Prednisone is a double-edged sword; it can make you feel better but the side effects are crazy. I'm like a little kid with the worst case of ADHD you've ever seen. It has become nearly impossible for me to sit in one place for more than 30 seconds. Seriously. I'm on-the-go-all-the-time-always-flitting-from-one-thing-to-another. Eventually, I get a lot done but probably in about the most inefficient way possible. I'm always interrupting myself to start something else. ARGHGH! At my best, I've cleaned places in my house that I can't remember EVER cleaning, at least to this degree. The Dyson vacuum doesn't know what hit it. And I'm going through paper towels, Windex, and Pledge like Armageddon is right around the corner. And at my worst, I start pointing things out to Al that he could be doing, too! The man works full-time and he's a saint; he doesn't need to be barked at with 'suggestions' for how he could help me out with stuff.

Then there's the issue of insomnia. It's a BIG issue. I am on yet a third sleeping aid at this point, and I'm sure banking on this one having a cumulative effect; night one was the worst night yet. Woke up by 2:30 and finally crawled out of bed with my racing brain at 3:15. Seriously---breakfast at 5 (that took some doing, but I didn't relish having lunch by 7 AM)-- and as the clock hands crawl around the clock, 5:00 starts to feel "late." I have been trying to nap during the day (to keep me from walking into walls) but that's even become difficult. Prednisone has my brain on overdrive. Grrrr. . . Even when it's time for bed and I've been up for 18 hours or more, I'm whirring like a top and already making a mental list of all the things I could accomplish the next day!

Blood pressure -- mine topped out at 170/100 two weeks ago. Scared the bejeebers outa me. So the doc put me on a prescription for that -- a week later, we figured out that the pharmacy made a mistake---a big mistake---and that I'd been taking 4 times as much of the medicine as what was prescribed. Lesson learned. Check and double-check prescription dosages. Assume the worst and check to be sure they've got it right. So I check my BP about twice a day; it's much better but stress (or too much vigorous housecleaning!) can make it go up. I'm not a person who relishes just sitting in a chair for any length of time.

And the munchies! Yikes! Never smoked weed in my life but from all the movies and TV I've seen through the years, I think my "munchiness" is much like a great post-smoking-weed snacking haze. THANK GOD for the person who invented the FORTY-TWO OUNCE bag of PEANUT M & M's. If I ever find out who came up with that fabulous idea, they're going to be named in my will.

And sadly, being in such a stupor so much of the time has meant that I've had to put a very important relationship in my life 'on hold' which I'm pretty sure has been interpreted in the worst way possible. It takes every ounce of energy I have to get through the day (and night) -- I hope she understands.

Coughing is starting to sound like a pretty good alternative but the pulmonologist really encourages me to 'hang in there' on this high dosage as long as I can. He's pretty sure that if we start tapering, even just a little, my disease will exacerbate and we'll be on the Prednisone-yo-yo thang. Don't want that.

M & M's, anyone?